one month

I'm a bit behind on posts! Wrote last week on the 23rd, MJ's actual one month, now we're already at 5 weeks, yikes!

We survived the first four weeks!

How that happened I don't know. It went by so slow yet so fast and is a complete blur. It's been a bit rough with breastfeeding, waking up every 2 hours at night, only 1-2 hours in between feedings, a baby who doesn't like to sleep, can't be set down, 24 hour fussiness, and possible colic!

I read on all these other blogs how their babies who are the say age at MJ are just so content during the day, sleep 4 hours at night, eat every 3-4 hours, and are happy all the time. This is SOO not our case. I admit, I'm very envious but that's just not the kind of baby we have. I like to call Madden a High Maintenance baby.

 "Hi I'm One Month!"

This seriously has been one of the hardest things I've ever done! No one tells you just how hard breastfeeding is. I've contemplated quiting multiple times. Particularly at the wee hours of the morning barely being able to keep my eyes open enough to feed him. I admit, I've even giving in and gave him formula a handful of times but then I feel guilty, plus it smells horribly and I can't image how it could taste remotely good in any way. He currently eats every 1-2 hours during the day, if he takes a really good nap (which is rare) then he will last longer. At night he usually wakes up every two hours, some nights on the dot! As much as I constantly struggle with breastfeeding, we have our good days. I love the closeness. Having him cuddled to my chest, snuggled in between my arms. Being able to watch him eat, knowing I am giving him that nourishment. And I know these moments won't last forever, they'll go by so quickly and I'll wish the opposite of what I do now.

Weight: 8lbs 14 oz  (as of August 18th)
Length: 21 inches (as of August 6th)
Diaper Size: Newborn disposables until he fits into cloth
Clothes Size: Newborn and 0-3 months. He is quickly outgrowing his newborn clothes in length, I think this is the last week for them
Hair Color: Brown
Eye color: Dark blue gray

One Month Facts:

• You lost your umbilical cord at exactly one week.
• Your first outing outside the house was the mall
• We gave you your first bottle of pumped breast milk when you were 2 weeks 5 days old, you took it like a champ!
• We try to feed you one bottle every day, usually from daddy.
• Grandma and Grandpa Dexter watched you for the first time when you were just short of 3 weeks old so mommy and daddy could get out of the house for a few hours, for the first time!
• Grandma and Grandpa Gorsh watched you on Saturday so we could go out to eat, for our second outing.
• Besides eating, sleeping, crying, peeing and pooping, there's not much else you do currently.
• You love being held - It's seriously the only way you will sleep. No matter how long you've been sleeping, as soon as we put you down within 5-10 minutes you will be awake screaming. You sleep the longest when you lay on either one of our chests, tummy to tummy.
• You LOVE to cry! The last two weeks you have become Mr. Fussy Pants, most nights you have a fussy period in which you are wide awake and crying from 6:00pm until 11:30pm.
• Mommy and daddy called the pedi for the first time thinking there might be something wrong with you since you all of a sudden became so fussy all the time. They think it might be something in my diet OR it's just colic. We're hoping it's neither and just a phase since your growing so fast but I'm trying to watch my diet by excluding dairy, caffeine and anything spicy which is hard and a pain. We also give you gas drops and colic drops but I'm not so sure they do anything.
• You Like Making Noises - Mainly while sleeping. You grunt. You fart, so much so that you wake yourself up multiple times a night. You whimper. You giggle and it's seriously the cutest thing EVER. You cry. Yes you even cry in your sleep, as soon as I look at you to check if it's real, you're still passed out.
• You're starting to like baths. Daddy is in charge of those and you seem to like it.
• You sure love to eat! You get so worked up when you're hungry you have his little cough you do. I'm convinced you have your fathers metabolism since you still need to eat every 1-2 hours.
• You have a love/hate relationship with tummy time. Sometimes you just lay there content and eventually fall asleep, other times it just pisses you off so much you scream bloody murder.
• You like your car seat and stroller. We can usually calm you down with them and you almost always fall asleep in them.
• Car rides usually always put you to sleep within minutes and you usually will stay asleep as long as your fed.
• The same is for walks. We try to go on a 20 minute walk every day during the week. You usually fall asleep right away and stay sleeping for another 20 minutes after we get back. 
• You hate being swaddled unless your really fussy and overtired then it helps settle you down. You usually fight so hard to get free. You like to have your arms up near your head and your hands available for your mouth.
• Unfortunately you're not a huge fan of your swing right now either.
• You hate being put down. You make it extremely difficult for mommy to do anything throughout the day, as soon as I set you down you cry which then turns into a scream. I'm extremely lucky if I even brush my teeth by time your dad gets home from work.
• You usually have two periods throughout the day when you are content and awake, they last about 20 minutes.

Funniest moment:
Daddy was giving you a bath the other night, (which you are starting to like as long as we keep pouring warm water on you) he had yet to learn to put a washcloth over your penis even though you've peed in the bath before. But that night you peed everywhere, it was like a little hose going off. From over on the wall to at daddy to in your own face. Daddy tried to be quick and cup his hand over the stream until he thought you were done, which you weren't and you ended up peeing up your nose and in your own mouth. I'm sorry for that! Trust me I won't let him live it down and I'm sure he's learned his lesson so cover your junk up from now on.

I finally found a way to hold you and be hands free!! I was actually able to style my hair for once :)

Thank you Moby Wrap!

Passed out in the wrap :)

Madden's Birth Story

This is going to be VERY long but I wanted to write down Madden's birth story more for my benefit to remember later on. So if it is something others don't want to read or is a bit too much information for your liking feel free to skip it.

Madden's early arrival was a bit unexpected and definitely a surprise as I've previously stated!

At my 36 week appointment for the Strep B test my Midwife checked my cervix to find I was already dilated to 3 cm. Although she warned me we might not see any more progress and I could stay at 3 cm for a couple weeks so not to get my hopes up. I was definitely happy to have that much progress already from just the Braxton Hicks contractions and light cramping but I figured if anything I might go a few days early, nothing sooner than that.

It all started on Sunday July 22 at 36 weeks 6 days pregnant. We had plans to have Jordan, Steph and the kids over to our house for an early dinner to hang out before MJ's arrival, see baby Stella again and to show off the nursery. Dave and I decided to make a run to the grocery store in the morning. After spending a good hour at Hy-Vee and stocking up on groceries for meals for the rest of the week, we were making our way to the car in the parking lot when I thought I felt my water start leaking!

Unsure if this was really my water leaking or just an increase in discharge or me peeing myself we went home to hang out a bit and wait. Dave unloaded the groceries while I changed clothes. Shortly after, another trickle. Since I wasn't having any contractions yet and it was just a small amount of fluid leaking so far we waited. I still wasn't entirely convenience it was truly my water leaking, I was in a bit of denial! I figured it would stop and we would be able to continue our day as planned, plus I already had my next appointment scheduled for the next day first thing in the morning and I would be able to have them check me then.

For the next 2 1/2 hours I went about doing a few loads of laundry, folding and putting away clothes, picking up the house, and loading the dishwasher. In that time there were more small leaks with some gushes of fluid in there as well. I resorted to wearing a pad so I didn't have to keep changing my clothes. Once I had to change that a few times, I figured I should probably call the on-call Midwife to see what we should do. Since I still wasn't having any contractions yet, just a bit of tightening every once in a while but nothing even like the Braxton Hicks I've been feeling the last few weeks, I figured they would tell us to wait until they started or give us a timeline that if nothing happened we should come in. Instead, the Midwife on-call,  Beth, told us to make our way to the hospital now and she would inform Labor and Delivery to expecting us. I was shocked and still in denial that this really could be it!

Dave was laying on the couch just drifting off to sleep when I told him the Midwife wanted us to come in to check to make sure if my water is indeed leaking or not. He jumped up immediately and asked what we needed. Apparently this is why they suggest you have your bag packed around 35 weeks because although I had some basic toiletries packed in my bag, I had nothing else. No clothes for me, nothing for baby and nothing for husband. Still in no hurry, we packed up what we thought we needed and got on our way.

We checked in with registration and was first sent to the Triage around 3:30pm to confirm if my water was leaking. After a good hour in Triage it was determined that my water was leaking for sure but was only partially broke and I was 4 cm dilated. We were officially admitted to L&D however reality was not setting in we were really having a baby!! Once admitted we were taken to our room to settle in. I was hooked up to an IV and wireless monitors to monitor baby's heart rate and my contractions. Since I still wasn't having contractions we decided to walk the halls for a bit and I requested the birth ball to sit on while we waited for Beth to make her rounds and come check on us.

Finally around 7:30pm Beth came in to check me, I had only dilated to 4 3/4cm. Even though we hadn't officially wrote down a birth plan I knew I wanted to do everything possible on my own to move my labor along and to avoid being given pitocin. We decided Beth would break the rest of my water, which wasn't hard to do, to see if my body would naturally start progressing and bring on contractions. We figured we would have quite a bit of down time for that to happen so I let Dave leave to go get something to eat since we didn't really eat lunch at all and had no idea how long this could be. He also was going to call and inform both our parents their grandson would be making his appearance sooner than expected!

Of course soon after Dave left I started to have contractions! He called me on the way back to see how I was in which I informed him he needed to get back asap as my contractions started to get a bit strong and were about 3-5 minutes apart already. I spent the majority of my time during active labor on the birth ball, leaning forward against the bed while Dave rubbed and massaged my back during each contraction. This was the position that felt best for me. Within only a few short hours the contractions got a whole lot stronger, I tried to hold off as long as possible through them before deciding on the epidural. I wait it out until I was checked again at 10:00pm in which I was almost 7cm dilated. Since you never know how long you can be at one point I decided to go ahead with the epidural at that point. While waiting for the anesthesiologist, which took an hour, I got into the whirlpool thinking the water and the jets would help relieve some pain.....it did not. I think it actually made me feel even more uncomfortable with the pressure again my back. Finally at 11pm I was able to get ready for the epidural.

Unfortunately the epidural only partially worked! After an hour it only took care of any back pain I had been having and my thighs were numb (not that that mattered!). My contractions were so strong and coming so fast that I still felt everything in my abdomen, right where I didn't want to! My wonderful nurses were going to wait until Beth was done assisting a C-section to ask both her and the doctor what other pain relief options there was for me. By time Beth was available, she checked me once more and I was already 9 3/4cm dilated, not nearly enough time for any other drug options. I was already feeling the urge to push on which she told me to just go ahead and start pushing when I feel the need while they got ready. I started pushing at 1:49am and Mr. Madden arrived into the world at 2:10am on Monday July 23, 2012. He was immediately placed on my chest for skin-to-skin contact where he stayed while they cleaned him, Dave cut the cord, and the placenta was delivered. I was able to try breastfeeding within that first hour. Madden nursed for 20 minutes on both sides even though he slept off and on but he did latch and we could here him swallowing which the nurses said was awesome since he was 3 weeks early.

By time Beth and the nurses got me stitched and cleaned up, I showered and baby was cleaned, measured and weighted we were taken over to the postpartum wing at 5:00am. Both Madden and I were checked out once more and we were finally able to settle into our room at 5:30am. We were all completely exhausted to say the least!! We tried sleeping until visiting hours started at 8am however that was a lost cause after just experiencing labor and welcoming our child into the world, it was all I could think about and replay in my head.We were finally released from the hospital on Wednesday afternoon as a family of three.

Due Date

Happy Due Date Mr. Madden!

I think he definitely looks like his daddy here!

Today is the day you were to officially arrive. It's crazy to think you have already been here for 3 weeks! Of course in honor of celebrating your official due date you have decided to have your 3 week growth spurt right on schedule. Which means for the past day and a half you have wanted nothing else but mommies boobie, that's even over sleep! This definitely has not been easy on me but I know it will past...eventually.

We can tell your definitely getting bigger and growing everyday, sometimes I feel like I an see you growing right before my eyes! From my measurements you've grown at least another 1/2 inch in length in just the past week since your 2 week doctor visit and your head has grown almost 3cm! I know you continue to gain weight and fill out, your even beginning to wear 0-3 month clothes even though they are still a bit big on you.

I sit here thinking that if you would have waited to arrive on time labor and your birth would have been a totally different story than how it turned out! You would have been a much bigger and longer baby, with one hell of a head, ouch :) We're sure glad you decided to come early and wouldn't have it any other way!

My Noisy Little Man

He is seriously the cutest thing, this was him napping yesterday.

He made these noises the ENTIRE hour he napped!!!

It's not always the cutest at 3:00am but he whimpers, grunts, cries, and hums ALL the time!

2 Weeks

I now understand how everyone always thinks this time flies by....because it really does. As much as I cannot wait to see Madden meeting all the milestones (getting to one month old, sleeping longer at night, smiling, cooing, etc, etc, etc) every night seems like a lifetime because of the lack of sleep and complete exhaustion, yet these two weeks really have gone by too fast.

This past week we ventured out of the house!

Wednesday Dave, Madden and I went to the mall and Menard's. MJ was perfect and slept the entire time. Thursday I decided to try going out all by myself with just the little guy. I was a bit terrified he would wake up and have a melt down in public. I made sure he was fully fed before leaving the house. He of course fell fast asleep in his car seat and while riding in the car, thank God! We went to Target and then stopped by my work to show him off :)

(The headrests the car seat comes with really doesn't work, don't worry this problem has been fixed....no more floppy head!)

Now that I'm physically feeling much better, we took our first walk with the puppies.
Maddux did awesome by staying at the side of the stroller the entire time, on the other hand Waveland keeps trying to run in front of it to get run over by the stroller.

Holding on to his paci all by himself, which doesn't last long

Hanging with my little man :-)

Love watching him sleep so peacefully

FINALLY got a picture with his eyes fully open!!

I love his pouty little lips.

MJ met his cousins, here he is with Stella who is exactly one month older than him. Amazing what only 4 weeks will bring us!

First real bath

Dear Madden:

Yesterday you turned two weeks old and my how much you have changed already. Your daddy and I were just talking about how we can already tell your growing and filling out. I can definitely tell your head is growing fast, you apparently might have inherited my large head, for that I'm sorry! Although you do have my little button nose, cute dimples and small ears that don't stick out (like your dads do), so you're welcome for those! You for sure have your dad's long skinny chicken legs and arms which makes me think your going to have his ridiculous metabolism too. For that I'm jealous. You also have your daddy's hair and sleeping habits.

We took you to your two week check-up yesterday, sure enough your growing better than expected! Your birth weight was 6lbs 14oz, you left the hospital at 6lbs 6oz and they like to see you at or near your birth weight at this appointment. You surprised us all weighing in at 7lbs 8oz!! Mama is feeding you well! You might only be in the 25th percentile for weight right now but just remember your actual due date is still a week away and your going to pull ahead in no time with the way your eating :)  You've also grown an entire inch in two weeks and currently are 21 inches long, the 80th percentile. And back to that head of yours, it's grown from 34 to 36.9cm for a head circumference, 60th percentile. 

By your numbers anyone can see your breastfeeding like a champ! You eat every 2-3 hours with a few 4 hour periods thrown in there and of course a few every hour ones too. You really love sleeping, more so during the day than at night (can't wait for that to change!). Anytime we try to wake you for feedings it takes a long time for you to wake up. When you do wake up if mommy's boob is not ready for you right away, you sure let me know how unhappy you are with me. You LOVE to stretch!! And yawn. You haven't been a fan of opening up your eyes much, usually its one eye at a time and as soon as you see someone looking at you, you quickly close them again. I call you my little pirate. Your starting to have longer awake periods during the day though, usually a 1-2 hour stretch in the morning and another 1-2 hour stretch in the evening. And each day you open your eyes wider and wider. Since you don't yet smile or coo or show much reaction I think I'm pretty boring to you right now when your awake but the time will come soon when we will start to play. 

Your not that fond of tummy time, although it must be pretty exhausting as it seems like you tend to always fall asleep during it. That, or your just like your daddy and just like to sleep on your stomach. You like to sleep with your hands and arms up near your face. You are one of the noisiest babies I've ever heard. You make lots of noises, whimpers, grunts, and cries all throughout the night. You farted today while in your swing so loud that you woke the dog up! You are a farting machine! You love your car seat and riding in the car, I know this basically because you just sleep the entire time so it must be pretty comfortable. I'm not so sure you like bath time right now but you do like getting your hair washed and massaging shampoo into your scalp just like your mama :)  You're not a fan of getting your diaper or your clothes changed.

You love being held, cuddled and snuggled. And I will happily do all three for the next 8 more weeks I have to spend with you all day long.  

Love,

Mama

Our First Week

To say our first week was a blur is an understatement!

I knew breastfeeding was going to be hard but I apparently never realized just how hard and exhausting it would be. That along with the exhaustion built up from the whole labor and birth process, staying at the hospital, being extremely sore, trying to take care of a newborn, and figuring out how to be a brand new parent is just plain hard!

The first week MJ was up every 1-2 hours at night. I've had a bit a of the "baby blues" at times. It's definitely an overwhelming feeling to be 100% completely responsible for this brand new person who is completely and utterly dependent on only you, especially when nursing. The downside of nursing is just that, only I can provide food for him (and nursing hurts!). On the other hand, now that we're both getting the hang of breastfeeding I'm beginning to enjoy that time together, watching him, being that close, being able to provide for him, and growing the bond between us. It's also still a bit serial to think that we made this little guys. We tried for 3 years and now we have him in our arms to sit and stare at and go over every little feature, who he looks like and what he's going to be like as he grows....

I know I have still not recovered or even gotten use to the whole "no sleep" thing yet, but it's definitely getting better and a bit more manageable two weeks in. I definitely would love to sleep more than 1-3 hours at a time but I really do love that quiet time together in the middle of the night.     

Our little man in the hospital

Going Home! He was not a fan of his car seat at first, that or he didn't want to go home with us just yet.

All better, now that he found his fingers to help soothe himself

Stretching out on his awesome monogrammed blanket

Newborn!

Chillin' with Daddy trying out his new paci

Milk Coma

Tummy Time

While in the hospital I took the advice from other moms to send baby to the nursery at night. Although I still didn't get much sleep from all the adrenaline of giving birth, being in an unfamiliar environment, constant interruptions, a semi uncomfortable bed, etc, I was able to physically and mentally rest while knowing experienced nurses were watching over my brand new baby. They brought MJ in when he was getting hungry, helped me with nursing or latching if needed and came to get him when he was done.

Another thing I am glad we did was limit visitors that first week to only the grandparents, and even they didn't stay long during those first few days. Just learning and adjusting to parenthood was enough!

Brand New!

Since Mr. Madden decided to surprise us with coming 3 weeks early, we really weren't completely prepared for his arrival. The hospital bag was not packed however the day we went to the hospital I did get my camera out and got the battery plugged in to charge. It was a good attempt though because Dave grabbed the camera just NOT the battery charging right in front of it.....thank goodness for camera phones!!!! All MJ's first pictures are via our camera phones.

Skin to skin contact right after birth

Trying to see his face for the first time.

Hello World!

Daddy cutting the cord, it was hard work!

Weighing in at 6lbs 14 oz.

Getting all cleaned up

Since MJ was early he had to have his glucose tested, even after our first successful attempt at breast feeding his levels were still very low so daddy got to feed him his first bottle.

Introducing Mr. Madden James :-)

The nurse washed and combed his hair, LOL 

My Little Love